As I said earlier, I was told on June 26th that I had cancer. By the time I had met with all the other doctors and decided on my path to surgery it was now early August. I had a vacation to my cabin arranged for the week following Labor Day and I wasn’t going to miss that. So the date of the surgery was set for Monday September 24th, 2018.
I’ve mentioned on other episodes that I’m a travel host and not a doctor, that part is true. I own a cabin just outside of Gatlinburg Tennessee near the Smoky Mountains that Cindy and I rent out. My other podcast is called and Outsiders Guide to the Smoky Mountains. My “vacation” – it’s never a vacation in September it’s normally when we are making repairs from guests during the hectic summer season. This year we were meeting up with my nephew Chris coming up from Florida. Chris is kind of like our third son. This is why I couldn’t miss this trip, these repairs needed to be made plus some hiking time in the mountains with Chris.. Plus, if anything went bad I wanted one last trip to my happy place.
During this same period my company was going through a restructuring and whenever you restructure a company people are a bit on edge.
By this time we had told our kids the situation, we called a family meeting…the first question at every family meeting always is “who died?” Apparently, we need to have a few more uplifting family meetings. My oldest son at this time is living in Kansas and my younger son is living in Chicago near us. Of course they took the news hard but they were really supportive.
Now work was going to be a bit more complicated. My boss and I agreed to keep my situation quiet until all of the restructuring stress had calmed down…why add more fuel to the fire. I told him I’d do my part but by now my family and some friends know my situation, so it’s bound to get out at some point, you gotta love social media right?
During my time with my company I was the hiring manager for my department, I hired the staff, trained the staff, traveled with them and really built a close connection or bond with may of them. The team that I hired are mostly the same ages as my two boys so I look upon these people right or wrongly as my work family. I’m dedicated to seeing these people succeed and yes I tend to protect them if they ever screw up. Just like you would if these were your own kids.
There were several of them that I was really close to and most of them were in the office with me. Let’s just say it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out something was wrong with me. They knew I was having yet another biopsy on my prostate and then suddenly there’s a flurry of other doctors visits that followed. You don’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to put the pieces together.
I didn’t want to lie to them but I couldn’t have my situation broadcasted around the company either. Plus, I know I can trust these guys. At this point the names of these guys are Mike, Jason, Neil and Bill. Jason who I hired at this point is working in Texas but he’s so tight with these other guys he needs to know this news.
Of course everyone is asking what can they do, how can they help. Everyone means that, I honestly believe it, but many people don’t know how to express it. I thought back to the Fathers Day baseball game and the powder blue baseball caps and of course we’re all Cubs fans and the Cubs hat has the C logo on the front of it. I ordered a few of these hats and gave them to select people with the instruction if you really want to cheer me up put on the hat and snap a picture and text it to me. If I’m in a bad or depressed mood it will put a smile on my face and nothing needs to be said or written, just the picture. I’m not sure which of the four of those guys coined the phrase “Team Chuck” but that’s where it came from and it stuck. They were great at sending the pictures. Wives, girlfriends, children, pets they sent pictures of all of them wearing the hats. My family and a few close friends jumped onboard also this was a really great pick me up.
Mike and Bill are the ringleaders at this point in the office. They were sending me pictures all the time and checking up on me, anything we can do for you boss? Just super supportive guys.
Well, what was originally texting turned into Facebook posts and the #teamchuck popped up on a few of them. More of my friends started to notice the blue hat photos and started asking questions what is Team Chuck? Quietly via messenger I’d fill them in on what was happening with me and what the hats were all about. All of a sudden hats started popping up on people that I never sent the hat to. They were buying them on their own. Team Chuck was gaining steam..
Now prior to surgery the whole “you could die thing” was never totally out of my mind. I’ve had friends die unexpectedly and leave their wife’s in a world of hurt. Not knowing accounts or passwords or where the important papers are. I didn’t want to put my wife though any of that. I met with my insurance agent to make sure all the polices are in place. I met with our financial planner again making sure all was in order should anything happen to me and next steps to provide Cindy a stable income stream were all in place. All the bills were paid for the next two weeks.
I made a list of work contacts in my region and at the HR department regarding company life insurance policies and other details.
I made sure I made a list of all the logons and passwords for the various online accounts she would need as well as a list of important vendors for various house repairs. I made sure she had a balance sheet and a net worth statement of all our assets and liabilities.
This may seem really morbid but I also met privately with my priest and picked out the readings and the songs for my funeral mass. Both my Sister and Mother died in 2015 and I can tell you one of the worst things to do was to sit there and go through all the readings trying to figure out which one my mother or sister would like. I couldn’t concentrate on what I was reading, I just wanted that meeting to be over with. Nope I’m taking that task off my wife and kid’s plate. By the way during that meeting we handled my confession. Face to face right across the desk, no anonymity needed at this point. Received the Anointing of the Sick…were good to go.
I filled in the guys at my Saturday morning men’s prayer group, and a few other people that are on the right path with God. All said they’d pray for me…couldn’t hurt right?
I told my son, this is the suit, the shirt, the tie and the shoes if needed.
I know….wow…right. I just didn’t want to leave a mess behind for anyone to figure out.
Finally on Friday before my surgery we pulled the region team together and I told them that I had cancer and that if all goes well I’ll be back to work in a few weeks. That’s not news anyone wants to hear on a Friday. Of course you get the “I’m so sorry’s” from people but this is when the guys from Team Chuck went into overdrive. In the blink of an eye these blue hats seem to be everywhere. I’m getting pictures from entire families showing support. People from the corporate office in California and the other regions. When I explained it finally on Facebook a few days before my surgery what was going on I got a bunch of inquiries on where to get the hats. To say I was overwhelmed with the support was an understatement. MLB.com ran out of the blue hat. I was stunned.
On to the surgery. Surgery prep is surgery prep, no food or water after midnight. I go to bed and try to get some sleep. Of course in my mind I keep going over what I was missing. Did I tie up all the loose ends? What important thing did I miss? Ok try get some sleep.
The next morning I get up early, we need to be at the hospital very early to get ready. Now I’m not sure why….maybe God has a sense of humor….have you ever woken up with a song stuck in your head and you just cant get it out no matter what you do. Normally it’s an irritating song like Mariah Cary’s- All I want for Christmas is You or a stupid jingle such as My Bologna has a first name its OSCAR.
Well I woke up that morning and what’s going through my head……………………. Yes. American Pie. Now music has always been a really important part of my life. Certain songs can teleport me back to a specific time and place. I know all the lyrics to American Pie and I can’t think of a worse song to be going through my head on the day of surgery. Seriously America Pie? No doubt, God is laughing.
Anyway…the doctor comes in and explained how the day will transpire. If all goes well I should be waking up in recovery around noon.
During this procedure, the surgeon controls the surgical tools from a console in the operating room. The robotic surgical system gives the surgeon a three-dimensional view and a greater range of motion and allows for better surgical precision while performing this highly technical procedure. Robotic surgery has many advantages for the patient including:
Smaller incisions
Less pain
Shorter hospital stay
Fewer complications
Quicker return to daily activities
Because the prostate gland is surrounded by nerves and involved in other areas important for sexual function and urination, radical prostatectomy is a complex procedure that requires a highly experienced urologist. Your doctor will work to remove prostate cancer tissue while preserving the surrounding nerves, when they can. This optimizes the chances of maintaining normal urinary and sexual function following the surgery.
The doctor explained to my wife that much of this procedure is completed with me being upside down. He cautioned my wife that because of this and the length of time being upside down she my not recognize me right away in recovery…and she didn’t.
So here we go. I remember being in the room and being asked to take off all of my clothes except for the gown. Remove all jewelry, my St. Jude neckless, my bright blue “no one fights alone” bracelet. I remember I was sitting up in the bed talking with my wife. They put an IV in and shortly after that (Boop) I was out like a light. I remembered if all goes well, I should wake up around noon.
After that, nothing…..just black. Many members of my family came to support my wife during my surgery but they had left before I woke up.
The next thing I recall is waking up in recovery which as a big room and seeing one of those clocks hanging from the center of the ceiling. You know the ones where the clockface is on both sides…and I see the time…..it’s 3:30. All I thought was Fuck me…there were complications. The I blacked out again.
Next time on Prostate Cancer Sucks, But There is Always Hope…..The longest night….to medicate or not to medicate…..I didn’t see that coming.
Prostate Cancer Sucks 