Greetings. You know I never envisioned myself doing a blog on this subject. I’m a travel host, I’m not a serious blogger by any means. Like most guys this is a topic I’d really like to keep private. During the early stages I was dealing with an enlarged prostate and that certainly isn’t talk for around the campfire. It wasn’t until after I was diagnosed with cancer that I talked about it and what I had been going through. I told people about what I was going through not for pity or the “look at me I have cancer”. I did it because guys don’t talk about this stuff and it cost lives needlessly. Over just this past year I know of two guys in their fifties who died because they were too stubborn to acknowledge something was wrong and didn’t go to the doctor soon enough. What did they get from that stubbornness? They’ll miss out on the weddings, the grandkids, the holidays, vacations, retirement and their golden years. For what? Ugh what a waste, what a loss. Men in general are big, dumb, stubborn animals…Can we all agree on that?
Anyway, as I was going through this people kept asking me can you talk to my brother-in-law, can you talk to my uncle, can you talk to whoever….he won’t see a doctor. The it was suggested by a coworker that you should do a podcast/blog. So here we are. My mission in talking about this is to get you to go to the doctor. Your family is worth it. Podcasts aren’t free to produce it takes time and money and I have no sponsors and I don’t want any. I’m paying out of my pocket and investing in you and your health, hopefully I can ge through that thick skull of yours and get you to a doctor. Prostate cancer is not a death sentence especially if it’s caught early.
Okay enough said.
As I mentioned in the first episode my first PSA number was 2.8. I elected to delay going to the urologist and we’d start watching the number to see where it trended.
Hold on for a minute, I’m just making an assumption that everyone knows what PSA or a PSA test is. Let’s have a moment of chalk talk <PAUSE> The PSA test is a blood test used primarily to screen for prostate cancer. The test measures the amount of prostate-specific antigen (PSA) in your blood. PSA is a protein produced by both cancerous and noncancerous tissue in the prostate, a small gland that sits below the bladder in men. Enough chalk talk.
As I said before, it wasn’t overly bad at this point, I was going more frequently and at a bit of a diminished flow but I wasn’t getting up at night. I kept being greeted by the Fickle Finger of Doom and the size and shape of my prostate during this period was unchanged. I’m just dealing with an enlarged prostate.
Then things took a turn, my PSA number began to rise towards 4.0. My babbling brook slowed and at some points stopped while I was going (they call that maintaining your stream). Well, my stream would dry up for a few seconds and then restart. Dr. B said it was time to head to the Urologist.
So enters Doctor A1 my first Urologist. I never had a urologist before and in this day and age when you ask for a recommendation you hear “oh their all good over there”. Uh huh. As I said before, I worked in the car business back in the day and guess what we had good mechanics and not so good mechanics but if you asked us the answer was. “oh their all good back there”.
Let this be my common sense tip #1 do your research! Go online and check out your doctor. Make sure he’s a good fit for you. I wanted someone with experience, frankly a lot of experience, I wanted to see that he went to a good school and had some credentials behind him. And I found that.
Dr. A1 was a good guy, smart, met my requirements, was not quite the funmeister I like but that’s ok. I have discovered on my journey that none of the urologists I have seen have had an abundant sense of humor…..maybe it’s the job.
So as all the visits start the review my PSA, then bend over and get ready for the Fickle Finger of Doom.
On goes the glove, splat goes the lube and up goes the finger.
-Hmmmmm
-Once again….Hmmmmm
Now let me say, Dr. A1 spent more that what I’ve experienced in the past as the typical amount of time performing this exam.
-Your prostate is a bit enlarged and it does have this odd little area on it. I believe the best course of action would be to take a biopsy of the prostate just to see what we’re dealing with for sure.
-Okay, what exactly does a prostate biopsy entail? In my mind I’m thinking.. I know where they have to go to feel what this looks like but where do you go to get a biopsy of it. It’s not like there’s a little access door anywhere on my body that I’m aware of.
– We perform the procedure here in my office. My nurse will assist. There will be a shot through the wall of your colon to numb the area and then we insert the biopsy devise anally and we take eight samples of your prostate. You’ll feel a little discomfort from the first shot but after that the devise and the samples are more uncomfortable than painful.
-Wait….You want to put what where and I’m awake for this?
-Yes you are
I’m thinking….They knock you out for a colonoscopy but for this procedure essentially inserting a dildo up your ass with eight needles coming out of it you’re wide awake.
Alright guys let me stop right here…..Let me peel you off the ceiling, just calm yourself down….I can hear you “Oh no way….No friggin way are they doing that to me” . Guys as the doc said, it’s not that bad. Just calm down and let’s get back to the story. Just calm down. Take a breath….calm down.
Ok, I agree to do the biopsy and away we go. It’s scheduled to be done first thing in the morning. They tell you this can be done in the morning and you can be back to work in the afternoon if you take it easy. I took the entire day off and I’m glad I did.
So here we go, I go into the room they ask me to remove all of my clothes and put on the gown. It’s just the doctor and the nurse as he stated. They ask me to get up on the table and lay on my side. I’m sure this is a beautiful sight. First goes the shot through the colon to numb the area. Ok if you’ve been to the dentist and have had a shot of nonvaccine it’s not much different but a longer needle and let’s be honest in a much different location but you get the idea. You wait for a few minutes to numb things up. Then the doctor comes in and talks you through the procedure.
Are you ready let’s get our first sample please lay still.
In goes the device….after that what it feels like is a spring-loaded pinch and I can still hear the sound. I can’t describe other than it kind of sounds like the old spring loaded dart guns you had as a kid if your my age. It feels like a thump inside your body in an area that’s never been touched if that makes sense.
Next he’s just moving around the device to get a different angle to take a different sample area, snap, snap, snap. Eight times….you hear the snap.
Now one of the things they warn you about is that they can miss the prostate and hit something else like your bladder and you can bleed from your penis and yes this did happen to me.
Alright guys let me stop right here…..Let me peel you off the ceiling again, just calm yourself down….I can hear you “Oh no way….No friggin way are they doing that to me” No bleeding penis’s. Just calm down. Not everyone bleeds from their penis. Well not right away. Just calm down and let’s get back to the story. Just calm down.
Yes, in my case I was bleeding out of my penis but that part didn’t last long. Was I concerned heck yes. You will pass blood after this procedure and I did. I can’t remember how long it lasted but I was back to normal by the end of the day. It feels weird when a blood clot comes through. Let’s face it peeing blood is not a normal thing for us.
We finished up I got dressed, albeit with a pad in the front of my underwear to catch the blood from Little Chucky.
The rest of the day was watching TV, drinking plenty of fluids and peeing all the time. Things settled down pretty quickly after that. Overall guys it wasn’t that bad.
Now honestly I have used this as my yardstick whenever anyone asks me about pain such as when I recently got a cortisone shot in my knee. My doctor asked me…What is your tolerance for pain Mr Schmidt, I reply “is it worse than a prostate biopsy which is a dildo with eight needles being inserted up your backside?” Trust me, doctors have no reply to that.
Sorry back to the story…..
So now comes the waiting game for the results. A day or two later I got the call from the doctor….the biopsies all came back negative. No cancer. Whew, that a relief.
So we made a follow up appointment to discuss the next steps.
At this point it still appears we are dealing with an enlarged slightly funny shaped prostate but at least there is no cancer.
The next step from Dr A1 was medication, Tamsulosin otherwise known as FlowMax. Flomax is an alpha-blocker that relaxes the muscles in the prostate and bladder neck, making it easier to urinate.
I love that name FlowMax. Just imagine the pitch meeting from the marketing guys on this drug. Picture This! Whenever I say that I think of Bewitched with Darrin Stevens in Larry Tates office “Picture this!”, the revolutionary drug to get guys to pee more freely…FlowMax. Give yourself the power of Niagra with FlowMax! My wife will tell you I spent way too much time as a kid watching TV. They could have just named it Niagra and then we older guys would have both Viagra and Niagra.
Sorry…getting back to the story. The Flowmax did work. My stream was better, not great but better. I didn’t go from slow moving trickle to Niagra but it was back to the babbling brook and I could maintain the stream. Again, I could still sleep all night without getting up to pee.
The second part of the equation was what to do about the PSA as it had been rising. At this point it’s a non-cancerous enlarged prostate so we elected to continue with the watchful waiting of the numbers. The saga continues.
In the next episode…..The numbers keep climbing…..here we go again….and a new approach.
For more information or resources please visit our website www.prostatecancersucks.com
Prostate Cancer Sucks 