Hello and welcome to the Podcast, I’m Chuck Schmidt and welcome to my story. Now who am I to be talking about prostate cancer? As you heard in the opening, I’m not a doctor, I’m not peddling any miracle elixirs or remedies, I’m not selling any books or memberships or anything like that. I am the perfect example of just an average guy who has been battling prostate cancer.
About me, as of today I’m 58 years old. I’m a bit pudgy. I’m married and have two sons. My wife and I met back in high school and have been married for 36 years. My two sons are both in their 30’s, are both married to amazing, beautiful accomplished women. My wife and I are empty nesters!
We currently have two dogs, we’ve had as many as four living in this house. So I guess we qualify as dog lovers. I’ve spent all of my life working in the automobile business. My wife and I also have another business that we run and it’s from that business where I learned how to produce a podcast.
How do I start this, where exactly is the beginning? That’s a great question and it really begins on Interstate 39 in Illinois back in 2006 when I was in my late 40’s. When my wife and I traveled she use to call me a camel because I could drink tons of fluids but never need to stop and that was true. Part of it was I just HATED rest stops. Dirty nasty places, guys are pigs. To all you guys that pee on the floor I assume you’re all single, I don’t know of a single wife that would put up with that mess more than once. Well on this particular drive something was different, I was hitting every rest stop. Hmm, that’s odd but I didn’t give too much thought to it. In fact, that trip was the beginning of my journey.
Let me hit rewind for an instant….this is important. Like most of you I never went to the doctor. From the time I was done with high school sports and my sports physical to until after my sons were born I never went to the doctor. It wasn’t until my kids were in Boy Scouts that had to actually go to a doctor or find a doctor for that matter. Mine that I had when growing up had retired and I didn’t have one. So why the Boy Scout reference, My kids loved Scouting and the outdoors and I became a volunteer leader and to go to summer camp with my kids they required me to get a physical. This started me going back to the doctor every year for physical, not because I wanted to but because I had to. In a roundabout way you could say that the Boy Scouts helped to save my life.
Ok, getting back on track….So here I am driving and stopping at every rest area which is really unusual but I didn’t think that much about it. I didn’t tell anyone, I just kind of let it be, after all it will go away or maybe this is what turning 50 looks like.
Well it didn’t go away. At this point, I was a manufacturers rep for an automotive company, my entire life at that period was on the road or in airports. I covered, Illinois, Indiana, Wisconsin and then got on an airplane and covered Colorado, Wyoming, Idaho, Montana and Eastern Washington State and I soon knew where the rest areas are on every interstate. The good ones and the bad ones. If you’re on I-65 in Indiana, skip the one north of Indianapolis. Heading south stop by Lafayette or heading north stop in Columbus. There you go, a helpful tip. You’ll thank me.
The frequency issue was beginning to become an issue especially while flying. I’m not a small guy, I hate airplane restrooms. I’d hit the airport terminal restroom right before I got on the plane and found the closest one as soon as I got off. No in-flight drinks, please.
Well as luck would have it, the car company I was working for decided to leave North America and I had the opportunity to not only change jobs but also come off the road for the most part. Yeah! So while things improved as far as my quality of surroundings the frequency did not correct itself. About every two hours I was going to the bathroom, now I admit I’m a bit of a coffee hound in the mornings, so I blamed much of my issues on that. It’s not like I was getting up at night to got to the bathroom, that’s wasn’t happening. None of this is sounding too out of the ordinary right? There are no alarm bells going off as of yet.
Well here came the first inclination something was really off and it happened by sound. Imagine, there you are standing in the stall and your relieving yourself when someone comes into the next stall and suddenly you realize your serene little babbling brook is no match for his thunderous Mammoth Falls. What the hell? I’ve got Rex in the next stall standing there, three feet back with his hands on his hips arcing his stream into the urinal. No wonder there’s pee on the floor in these places. When the heck did this happen? When did I turn into the babbling brook I’m exaggerating, but not by much. There is pee on the floor.
If you’ve ever seen the Kominsky Method with Michael Douglas this exact scene plays out in that show. I nearly died watching it. I wish I had his writers when he turns to Mr Mammoth Falls and says “enjoy it while it lasts.”
I don’t know if Chuck Lorre who writes the Kominsky Method is battling prostate issues but for those of us who have gone through this or are going through them, this shows refences to the prostate are spot on.
Now I grew up a normal kid, peeing behind the bushes, swordfights (yeah you know what those are) hell I paid my penance at the troughs of Wrigley Field – which is pretty much one of the most hideous and disgusting things you’ll ever do as a man. Ladies if you’re listening just use your imaginations…the reality is… it’s much worse.
So standing in the stall next to Mr. Mammoth Falls that’s when it hit me (not literally) I’m going more frequently and at a lower pressure. Let’s face it, something is amiss. I have my Scout camp physical coming up, time to talk to the doctor.
OK, tap the brakes here. Time to talk about the doctors. Obviously, there are a few of them during my story but since I don’t want to get sued by any of them I’ll just refer to them by letter.
Ladies and Gentlemen….Get your pencil and scorecards ready and I will give you today’s lineup.
Doctors A1 and A2 are my first two urologists
Doctor B is my regular Physician
Doctor C is my Radiation Oncologist
Doctor D is my 3rd Urologist
And Doctor S is my Medical Oncologist.
No, you don’t need to remember that, I just wanted to give you the lay of the land.
So here we go, time for my physical. I do all the tests, head into the office and work up the courage to tell my doctor something is wrong with the equipment. It’s amazing how many people go to the doctor and check out when it comes to discussing something like this that is out of the ordinary. Now Doctor B I like quite a bit. Some people may not. He’s straight forward and I really appreciate that but he also has a good sense of humor. When I go to see him the first few minutes we talk about the kids, cars and just stuff in general. Again I really like that, I feel I can talk to him about anything.
- “So doc here’s the thing…. I’m peeing more frequently and I’m experiencing a loss of pressure.”
- Well Chuck when you get older some guys do lose their ability to cross the T and dot the I in the snow.
I told you he had a sense of humor. I told him I think this is a bit more than this..
-“Ok Chuck, normally I save this treat until you’re 50 but, in your case, let’s check this out, it’s your time to meet the Fickle Finger of Doom. Step over to the table bend over and pull down your pants and underwear.”
Now had I planned this better, as a doctor I might have selected a cute little 5’5” brunette with small hands, ordered in some dinner and done this by candlelight. But no, my doctor is 6’3” in his mid-40’s has large hands and this happened under glaring lights.
Remember….as much apprehension as you have about going through this I’m pretty sure Doctor B didn’t get up that morning thinking I sure hope I get to the office, grab some coffee and noddle around in Chuck’s backside today! This is really a no-win scenario for both of us let’s be honest about that.
And that’s how it happened that the first of many fickle fingers of doom probed my nether regions. Now if you can get over just this little step guys you’re on your way to punching prostate cancer right in the face. This moment is what stops so many guys from getting themselves checked out. It’s really not a big deal, your manhood is still intact, I guarantee you of that.
At this point you hear the glove snap on….the sssplllatrtt of the lubricant..
Alright I need you to bear down…
-“Bear down? Like Chicago Bears…bear down the song?”
-“No, pucker tightly….Smart ass”
- “Hmmmm”
- “Hmmmm? What’s Hmmm?”
- “Your prostate feels only slightly enlarged but there an odd little shape to it.”
And as quickly as it started it was over.
- “I’m going to order a PSA test for you.”
That was the first time I had ever heard of the PSA test. The first of many in my case. My fist PSA test came back at 2.8, which is right on the edge of the high range. For a guy my age this was a concern of mine.
You see my father had prostate cancer but it didn’t rear its ugly head until he was in his mid-70’s, my prostate issues arrived before I was fifty.
With a beginning score of 2.8, I had my choice of going to a Urologist or we could retest in 6 months to see what would happen. I opted to wait the six months and then retest….and so the watchful waiting begins.
Next episode, the numbers start to climb, it’s time to go to the urologist, wait, you want to put what…where?
Thanks for listening to Prostate Cancer Sucks But there is Always Hope. Remember if you’re over 50 and you know your FICO score and not your PSA level then your priorities are screwed up. It’s only a blood test, go see your doctor.
For more information and resources regarding prostate cancer please visit our website ProstateCancerSucks.com
Prostate Cancer Sucks the podcast is produced by Two Noisy Beagles Media
Prostate Cancer Sucks 